“Am I going crazy or getting sane?”
This is the question I first asked myself many times in the late-1990s when I doubted the career choices I had made in the pursuit of worldly success. In recent months, this same inquiry has come back to force me to undergo another major reinvention.
In a former ego-driven vocation I provided writing, editing, marketing, publicity, and media relations services for companies and individuals to help them achieve their goals for greater name recognition. Using my initials for AlexSandra L. Lett, I had founded ALL Communications in Raleigh and coordinated all types of activities for promoting people and businesses in the marketplace. To make money and gain prestige I became all things to all people and eventually sacrificed my soul’s purpose in the process.
An uneasy feeling in my gut indicated that something was wrong with how I was living. Personally and professionally I was very unfulfilled…I longed for something more.
My desire for dramatic changes in my life increased, and I wrote about my experiences in a journal, and eventually a book title evolved: Going Crazy…Getting Sane. To respond to my soul’s promptings about writing the book I had to give up my old way of earning an income. As I released clients I didn’t know if I was going totally out of orbit or if I was finally getting in control of my life.
Back then I embarked on a powerful pilgrimage, the road less taken, the path of most resistance, without a compass, without a map, without even a marketing plan. Many business associates and even some close friends thought I was confused and perhaps even crazy as I courageously sought sanity and serenity. I knew I had to answer to the calling that stirred deep inside me and had to trust the Holy Spirit to direct my amazing journey to creative self-expression and authentic living.
Focusing on writing that book for two years was the most fulfilling endeavor of my life and I got in touch with my mission as a writer. Even though I did not publish the manuscript, the process of writing three drafts provided healing that would have cost me thousands of dollars and years of therapy.
From 2000 until recently I have focused on work had fed my spirit, have published several books, and have spoken to numerous audiences on diverse topics. However, lately in my misguided efforts to belong to social groups and business organizations, I have realized that again I am making the mistake of losing my authentic self.
So this summer 2012 I have withdrawn from the world again. I have been reading old versions of Going Crazy…Getting Sane and reviewing many articles I have written about personal and professional development. And, yes, I am committing to REINVENTION again.
Recently I wrote a series of columns for a publication discussing strategies for reinvention, and each one started with r. In this blog I will write about the r’s that I have embraced in reinventing myself, including
As I reflect and reassess about my book, my work,and my life I seek TOTAL TRANSFORMATION that involves creative excitement and inner fulfillment.
Will you join me?
AlexSandra Lett is currently writing Going Crazy…Getting Sane, a book about reinventing ourselves personally and professionally.